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God's Change of Plans (10/13/2011) The Rejuvenating Energy of Our God (9/23/2011) Send or Go? (9/4/2011) As Reality Sets In... (8/30/2011) Unpacking (8/12/2011) A Long Farewell (8/4/2011) Expectations. Who Has Expectations? (8/3/2011) How I Was Called to the Mission Field (7/26/2011) |
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My first support deadline for the race came and went faster than I could have ever anticipated. As it neared, I continued to pray (as I had been for months) that God would show me what he wanted for me. As I have continued with my internship, I have wholeheartedly fallen in love with the students I am investing in, all the while knowing I am leaving the country. But God seems to have other plans for me. Through His choosing to withhold the necessary finances, I was presented with the reality that a January World Race departure could no longer happen. My alternative was to leave in July. This entire time I have been praying for a closed door, something that would show me which step to take. I have no problem with a change of plans. I've never been afraid of change. The deadline came and I began changing my prayer- I don't need a sign, I don't need to see what God has planned for me, I just want to feel at peace about a decision one way or the other.
A little over a week ago, I had a conversation with someone that rocked my world. It brought me to my knees in a sense, realizing how many moments in my life I had swept under the rug (for lack of a better term). There were moments I was carrying guilt or shame for that I simply chose not to take up with God. It was easier to move forward than to look back. I'm sure you can relate. After spending a solid week distracted from every other aspect of my life thinking about these things, I came to a conclusion as to how to handle them.
Some of us are called to go, help, and serve. I fall into that category. God is calling me to go and love others, to help and lead others to the truth. God's love is undeniable and I am called to spread His word. Think about your calling? Are you being called to go? Reconsider what you believe to be important and don't ignore your calling. If you're not, then you're called to send. This calling, clearly, is no less important than a calling to go. Merely different. Neither can exist without the other. This is all in God's plan. 
The reality of the coming months is beginning to really set in. The responsibilities with which I will be entrusted are huge, in my opinion, but I may be putting too much pressure on myself (wouldn't be the first time). I couldn't be more excited to step into new roles and learn from each experience. You can't take from an experience you never attempted. God wouldn't have put me here if He didn't intend on me learning from this. He has a plan for me and I'm certain I'm in the right place. 
